My Rose
by lostladyknight
Summary: Ten reflects as the TARDIS carries him away from the beach and Rose. Post Journey's End. TenRose. Written for the 9th FCG Eight-Week challenge.


**A/N** This is my first Doctor Who fic. I'm a little unsure about how it came out but in all pretty confident in it. I've been a Doctor Who and Ten/Rose fan for about a year now so, it's high time I made an attempt. I'm an American and very new to the Fandom as far as fanficiton is concerned so I'd really love some reviews to let me know how well or poorly I've done. Many Thanks! -LLK

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My Rose

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The beach is far away now, though the chilling cold seems to have followed. The feeling is bitter. Raw. It's consuming from the pit of my stomach and swells throughout my chest and into my head. The fog spreads through my mind and I feel my heart slowly sputter out, moving from pounding to faint. I move through the TARDIS numbly. Distantly, I hear a faint humming sound, one I can't place. One I don't even want to determine.

A moment passes... or is it a century? I'm not sure. Finally, I locate the source of the humming - a voice. Donna is standing before me saying something. I hear a few phrases pass from her lips, completely unaware as to what the words are before I eventually regain control.

"Are you even listening to me?" she asks, obviously annoyed. "That's not like you."

"Sorry," I apologize, though dishonestly. I don't feel any more sorry for my indifference towards Donna than I do for standing where I am. "I'm feeling ill."

She crosses her arms and stares me down--her eyes meet squarely with mine. I flash her a grin and move to the controls. I guide the TARDIS silently, moving us away from Rose and towards... well, an entire future without her. Eternity. How long is the future? Another nine hundred years? More? But a part of me will remain, always. In more ways than one.

He is the other me. He is half human, half Time Lord, and all hers. He has the entirety of my experiences and something more--the ability to grow old with her. To be with her in every way. _With_, I've never appreciated such a simple term so deeply.

I feel consumed with an animal-like jealousy. How is it fair? I feel the desire to throw myself onto the floor in a tantrum. To complain like an infant. She has me, as I promised. But, I don't have her. And yet I do. For her it will always be the same as it was. There won't be any difference between our past and their future. She has me and I have her. We're together in our own realm of existence. We're together, so why do I feel that we're so far?

He and I are the same. We are one--but he is human and I am not. He can give her what I never could. He already has. He has given her love. He has given her himself. But most important of all he has given her a future. An eternity of existence as man ans woman. As humanity. He has given her all the affection I have felt for her and all of it that I will feel. She will never have to long for me again, never have to wonder for my safety, never have to yearn for a touch I can not give her. I am there with her, and that is where I will remain.

We are the same, one being. But that's where the trouble lies. We are one being in two bodies. And she is one being in one body. She cannot physically be both mine and mine also. As is my own existence, forever a paradox among men. If I am even that--a man?

Why is it that I've finally found the ability to love, to give my entire heart to a human, and I cannot be with her? Because I'm not human. And no matter how human I become over time, no matter how powerfully they rub off on me, or how strongly I start to emulate them, I will never be human. No, I am and will always be a Time Lord. It is both my assent and my plight.

"It's not ever going to be the same for her, either," Donna says, as though she'd been in my head all along. I rub a hand over my forehead and through my hair, foolishly checking if I can still feel her in there. "And he and you aren't the same, not wholly."

"No," I agree. "We're not. He's everything that I am without my faults. He won't live forever. He will grow old. And he can love, openly."

"Yes, and so can every other human male in existence," she promises me. "You, _you_, are the one she was drawn to. The one I'm drawn to--"

I twitch my eyebrows at her, a bit spooked at her confession.

"Not like THAT," she says, raising a hand to her chest in disgust. "But I am, and of all of the 'men' in the world--in all the worlds of existence, you're the one. You're the only one."

"I'm not unique," I inform her. "And you've gone soft."

"Have not!" she argues, squaring her hands on her hips and sizing me up with one look. "Fine, don't believe me. She'll be back."

I'm not convinced, but in another way I am. Donna is right, I know. My path will again cross with Rose's. I just can't help but wonder what it will mean when it does. Will she be euphoric? And who will cause such pure happiness? Him or me? Or, is it we? Or I? He and I are two halves of one whole, are we not? Perhaps he is real and I am now nothing but a figment? Or am I an original and he a copy?

I smile.

Donna catches me, "Gone soft have I?"

"You have."

"Looks like you've gone soft yourself," she says with a smile to match my own. "Doctor."

I make my way through the TARDIS as it speeds further and further away from the beach, no longer feeling that I'm moving away from her. It is an inevitability that I will see her again. Our paths always find a way to cross with one another's. No, I am not moving away...

I am moving towards her. My Rose.

.:End:.

-Penned by Lostladyknight in the week of June 7, 2009.

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This piece was written for the night FCG challenge. The requirements: 1. Must include the phrase: "That's not like you." 2. Must be any one of the following: Angst, Romance, Humor, Songfic, or Horror. 3. Must involve the presence (or lack of presence) of an animal. 4. Must be a minimum rating of K and a max rating of M. 5. Each Segment must be exactly 1,000 words. Critiquers I expect you to check them on this! Please see my profile for more info on the FCG. -LLK


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